The
Crucible
Hard work, tiring practice and emotional ups and downs … Bhagavan is a tough task master. Behind every performance lies an untold story of uncertainty and at times, tears… One of the flute players narrates an incident wherein at one point of time he was so frustrated with his instrument that he wanted to quit. While all new members moved onto playing music he was having trouble playing the scale. Extra practice before and after college hours yielded no fruit. So complete was his disgust that one evening in the Mandir when Swami called all the new Band boys he did not even feel like facing Him… Once, Bhagavan drove in while the boys were practising. One of the trumpet players not really knowing the piece being played well pretended to be blowing to his heart’s content. Before returning, Swami gestured with His fingers and made a comment to one of the elders, “Kuch log bas eisa eisa karte hain, no sound”!! (“Some people simply move their fingers and blow but no sound”). Though the elder did not understand the import of the statement, much later, the concerned trumpeter shared this experience, having learned his lesson! At times, circumstances have been favorable and the Band has gone to Mandir very well prepared with the music. This over-confidence can prove to be dangerous giving that heady feeling that it’s going to be a wonderful concert where the hearts of the audience will be easily won over! But of course these are the times when Swami decides to bring everybody back to earth. The notes are ready on the stands, everybody is warmed up and rearing to go. While the heart waits with anticipation to begin the performance, Swami decides otherwise. The music is put away, the stands wound up and the boys return with a heavy heart. Be it as simple as learning an
instrument or being blessed with an opportunity to play in the Divine
presence, Bhagavan waits till the moment when one is pushed to the brink.
Then just when all hope seems to be lost and one just surrenders saying,
“God this is the end I cannot take it anymore … I give up
…”, out of nowhere comes His loving hand picking each up
and making them soar much higher than can be imagined. |
To the mother, the child is all. Faults and good qualities all rolled into one bundle of love. One wonders how time and again even when renowned musicians are present, Swami is so happy to see His students perform their little bit. What more can be sweeter for the child than to lap up all the love being showered by the doting mother? Maybe it really does not matter if there are wrong notes, false starts and train wrecks during a performance as long as the forgiving eye of the Divine Mother sees the purity of intention and sincerity of purpose. As Sports Day approaches, most of the
students spend more and more time in the ground preparing for the grand
event. The Band is no exception, putting final touches to the marches.
One morning, before Bhajans, Swami came to the ground while
the Band boys were practising. He heard the marches for a few minutes
and then appeared to be returning when the car stopped. The driver got
down, opened the boot and took out two crates of apples. Swami sent
word that He had distributed apples to all the students in the Mandir
and knowing that the Band would be practising He had Himself got the
apples for them. These are those rare moments when one is dumbfounded
and all one can do is to surrender to the warmth of Divine Love and
soak it all in.
Swami Himself looked into every minute detail. As the hundred or so boys sat on the Poornachandra stage Bhagavan Himself distributed food items to each individually! Most of the students present on that day have graduated and are spread all over the globe. Yet, that afternoon remains etched in their hearts with indelible fondness and gratitude. Yes, there are bruises and heartaches. Moments of disillusionment and utter loneliness. But the Lord is benign witness to it all. Stepping in when all around seems to be only dead ends. A fleeting glance, a gentle smile or just a “Where are you from?” washes over like the cool spring and soothes like a gentle balm. One is ready to take on music (and life) with renewed vigour. |
“Swami, we want to play the new Slow March”, the Band leader prays to Bhagavan. “Vaayinchandi (play)…” He nods assent. Within the first few measures there is a gentle frown on the Divine countenance, “No not this one … too fast … where is Slow March?” There is a murmur all around, a hint of confusion before finally the Band launches into “Music from the Royal Fireworks”. Bhagavan is beaming as He gently sways to the strains of Handel’s centuries old composition. Yes, He is the King and nothing but the very best meets His approval. As the fanfares burst forth, music
and celebration alert all the devotees gathered who strain to catch
a glimpse of the distant chariot. The Slow March and flag bearers
herald the Lord’s arrival. He stands tall as befitting the Monarch
of the Universe, calm, looking at the multitudes, showering His blessings.
Everyone is transfixed by the amount of compassion and love pouring
from His eyes. The
Story Continues… Music is but a pretext; one of the many ways He instills among His boys the appreciation of responsibility and hones group dynamic skills. The many hurdles and apparent setbacks in the path just aid in building one’s self confidence. Yes, it is all an excuse, an excuse for Him to spend time with us … (DJ has been a student of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning from 1994 to 1999. He has also been the Band leader for several years. Currently, he is teaching in the Department of Mathematics and Computer Science at the Institute.) |
Volume3 Issue1 Jan 2005 Optimized for Netscape and Firefox. Best viewed in Internet Explorer - 1024 x 768 resolution. |