NEVER ENDING LOVE OF OUR BHAGAVAN
- By T.Jeyapalan

12 February 05

The world is tormented by the havoc created by the Tsunami tidal waves. Homes and lives were blown away within minutes. A vacuum with uncertainty sets in our hearts as we switch on the television everyday to see new stories unfold. Hearts bleed as we watch those orphaned children and the grieving parents. Our hearts call, God where are you, where are you?

Calamities come and go. Disasters come and go. He comforts the tormented souls. He consoles the souls that have seen the sorrow, with his love. His love is never ending!

As I entered Puttaparthi with my family after the recent calamity, He replaced all those thoughts with His loving presence. As we enter the mandir, He fills us with His tranquil presence, even with His brief appearances at the Darshans.

Whenever I feel empty, I sit there and contemplate “Swami, are you still within me, do I have to come all the way to Puttaparthi to see you, please answer me, where are you?” Within the next few minutes Swami answers with His heavenly love deep within me. If at all I had to express my feeling, I have to get up and dance in joy. How do you write about it? How do you relate this to another person? Tears of joy and bliss roll down and all I can do is to hold Swami’s legs tight in my heart and don’t let Him go. He is my father, mother, teacher, friend and everything else in this world.

In Darshan, Swami takes a short route avoiding the men’s side. My heart jumps to question mode. Why, my Lord? What have I done, why do you ignore me? Soon after Darshans He comes out in His car smiling away and waving in my direction saying “Why despair my son, I am right here?” He appears again and again to our heart’s content. His love is never ending!

My Maya within still makes me to stumble and fall. Doubts keep coming. I ask “Are all those conversations with you within me true? Swami, Do you talk to people from their within?” As the sun goes down I see a small gathering in front of Block N-5. I see Prof. Anil Kumar at the centre with an interpreter talking to the devotees from the Latin American countries. As I join the gathering, the question put forward to Anil Kumar was about internal conversation with Swami. There you go: Anil Kumar answers, “When your mind and senses are quite active you need direct touch/communication with Swami. As time passes, your mind quietens down and you are in communion with Swami. Swami becomes your indweller and talks to you all the time”.

I bump in to an ardent Bhajans organiser from Sydney Mr. Sundar Siva, at Puttaparthi.

He takes me to Chaithanya Jyothi where an exhibition was being inaugurated. One of the events was ‘live bhajan singing’. The bhajans were organised by the devotees from the Latin American countries. I too joined the band of singers for the next three consecutive days. Being used to singing with the Indian devotees, this was a great experience for me: to play God’s music with a group from the other end of the world. The Spanish guitars, flutes and tambourines filled the hall with beautiful music. Their heavenly singing would touch anybody as they sang with lots and lots of love.

My heart just melted thinking of Swami’s grace and love that had reached these people who live thousands of miles away from the Indian subcontinent. His love is never ending!

I see Swami alight from the car at the Mandir. I see Him limp slightly. My mind ponders, Swami why don’t you get well, why do you have to go through all the agony? My mind was sympathising with a struggling human being. The indweller directs my compassion towards all other struggling humans on this planet. For that moment He removes the thought of God from me and makes me think of the humans around. His love is never ending!

On our way from Bangalore to Puttaparthi, I see the road being renovated. I recalled the banner I saw in Bangalore exhibiting Swami’s 80th Birthday Celebrations that said “80 years of love”. I asked Swami, You have been here for 80 long years, thousands of people have come through this road to see You and why is the road being widened only now? My father answered, ‘I did not come here to repair all the roads my dear, I came to repair the hearts and minds of the people and that’s My mission.’

I glanced at the driver who he was still complaining of the slow progress in the repair works. I could only smile thinking of my Swami’s loving reply.

The day has come to leave. I must return to my worldly duties with my family. The morning bajans are over and I see our fourteen-year-old daughter walking towards me with watery eyes. Swami’s all pervading love and bliss had touched her too. I thought: how lucky she is! It is her first ever visit to India at the age of fourteen and she is touched by God. I had to wait for 48 years to get a glimpse of the Lord.

He is all knowing, all seeing and knows the Grand Design of Things.
The time had to come for everything.

As I type this He says, ‘You only talk about time. For Me, everything is timeless!’
His love is never ending.

With love,
T.Jeyapalan,
Rydalmere Sathya Sai Centre,
Sydney, Australia