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Volume
6 - Issue 04
APRIL - 2008 |
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Behind Every Cloud There is a Silver Lining…
I was the only child with no siblings. But, at the same time, I was also an unwanted child. Right from the beginning I was the cause of much conflict at home. No day passed without some haggling between me and my parents. I used to run away from home trying to find space to hide. My father was an aggressive person and would not mind even hurting me physically. As a youngster, I had feelings for God, but never understood why my parents were not interested in Him; it was difficult for me to reconcile these mental conflicts. However, my mother did love me very much, and always tried to protect me. [In fact, she is now here in Prasanthi Nilayam (December 2007) and we both would really like to live here permanently!] When I was 30 years old, I had a serious accident. I had lived my life like most anywhere do – following my desires and looking for happiness outside. But later, I fell sick with a strange kind of illness and I realised that my hearing was deteriorating every passing day. I underwent many surgeries. During one of the operations, the doctor made a mistake, and cut the nerves to both the hearing organs. I became completely deaf. This was in 1991. I was so depressed and mad with myself that I wanted to commit suicide. I lost all my friends. Nothing interested me in life, and I felt I was useless. I became very aggressive and disrupted whatever little harmony prevailed at home.
I later married and we adopted an eight year old boy. I did my small job, but always kept away from people; I never sought anyone’s help. It was my wife and son who always stood by my side. Three years ago (2004), I was in a big financial crisis with many debts to pay; I almost lost the apartment I owned with my mother. I had no friends whom I could go to for help. It was a moment of great trial and frustration, and I thought there has to be some meaning to what I was going through. I wanted to know why my destiny was so cruel, and started to question everything about my life. I went to a counsellor who said that it is important for me to identify the root of the problem, and also suggested I go to a Sathya Sai Baba centre. After visiting the Sai Centre, I took a basic course in Human Values, as well as a Self-Awareness course. I learnt a lot about Sai Baba and His Teachings. I also heard that a group from Hungary had gone on pilgrimage to see Sai Baba, and that their lives improved considerably after receiving His Blessings. There was another group that was preparing to go to Prasanthi on January 3, 2006. Somehow, I managed to find a job which gave me enough money to pay for the ticket, and so I joined that group. This was how I came to see Baba for the first time. When I alighted from the plane in Bangalore, I felt it was a special place, and when I stepped inside Puttaparthi, I was in a joyful, dreamlike state. I phoned my family in Hungary to share my happiness, but they didn’t seem to understand why just being in Prasanthi Nilayam filled me with so much joy. I read a book called ‘Unity is Divinity’ and understood who God is. I knew it was possible for me to feel His Presence. Ah! His Magical Gift!
During that trip, the Hungarian group of 168 people had an interview with Swami in the Bhajan Hall, and I had the blessed chance to sit in the front row, almost beside Him. Swami asked me my name and I told Him; then He held my hand and created Vibhuti. After pouring the sacred creation into my hand, he communicated to me that I should put the Vibhuti in each of my ears for a few days, and that everything would be alright. He was speaking with me through a translator (who spoke loudly). I could not hear Sai Baba’s voice due to my deafness, but as the translation went on, I could feel what Swami was saying. And after that night, something incredible happened. The next morning, I woke up and cleaned out the Vibhuti in my ears to put in the hearing aids, which I used to wear even though they did not help me much, except making few noises audible. I turned them on and placed them in my ears, and then immediately I had to take them off! The sounds were too loud! I then turned down the volume, but later I took them out, and to my amazement I could hear everything clearly! I ran to call my mother, and told her I could hear. I could talk with her and hear everything clearly. I was ecstatic. After so many years, I could hear my mother’s voice. It was like I received a new life. From then on, I realised that I had to change my life completely. I had to improve my relationships with people. I wanted to understand Sai Baba’s Teachings more and understand the true meaning of life. After that blessed interview, I was sitting in the Mandir, and I suddenly found beautiful thoughts filling my mind in the form of a poem. I did not know where those words were coming from, but I was so thrilled; I ran out and grabbed a pen and paper to write them down. Later, the Sai Organisation of Hungary published them in their official magazine. The Inevitable Transformation After I returned home that year, my life took a U-turn. Everything around me became better, be it my family life, relationships with people or my financial position. My whole experience of my life was enhanced. The doctors, who performed the failed operation, had told me I could not possibly hear again, as the damage was too much to repair. I had gone to a university hospital for a second opinion, and they too had said: “Only the good Lord can give you back your hearing.” When people asked me how I got my hearing back, I tell them God gave it back, and narrate my experience with Sai Baba. My first doctor believes me, but as a professor of medicine, he is unable to understand or explain the incident. Some doctors have even questioned about the Vibhuti - they wanted to examine and investigate if it was a new medicinal cure! “Wherever you are, you are Mine…” – Baba That year, after I returned from Sai Baba, a second miracle happened. One day, my neighbour was very drunk and attacked me with a big crowbar. Before the iron bar hit me, the man suddenly fell down – he could not hit me for some strange reason. I believe it was because of the positive energy around me. At that moment, in spite of what he was doing, I only had love for him in my heart and I showed it to him spontaneously. I think this is what changed the situation and saved me.
Later, we had a tragedy in our family. I was driving to see my parents, and suddenly I saw a coffin, which caught my attention. When I arrived, I saw my father lying on the bed; he said he was sick maybe because of what he had eaten a few hours ago, and that he would be fine soon. But I felt his condition was more serious than that. I wanted to help him stand up, but he kept falling onto the bed. I realised the situation was critical and called for an ambulance. As we were driving to the hospital, the medics kept checking his parameters, and they found that there was something wrong happening in his brain, and soon one half of his body was paralyzed. After a few hours, my father passed away in the hospital, I learnt later that it was more because of an overdose of drugs than anything else. But I consoled myself as I know my father would never have wanted to live in that debilitating condition. I did not harbour any hatred or anger toward the doctors as I realised they were simply instruments of God, just as the doctor who made the mistake with my ears, without which I would have never come to Swami and seen so many beautiful changes in my life. I pray to Swami every day and always express my gratitude to Him for what He has done for me. If that was the life-altering experience of Mr. Laszlo Daloki, here is another revealing account from a senior lady, Clara, who had come to see Swami for the first time in December 2007. Though the journey and stay were not easy for her, given her advanced age, Clara narrates how the trip left her stronger than ever – physically and spiritually. The Might of the Spirit This is my first time here, and it has been hard due to my age, but at the same time, I am very happy to be here. My experience did not start here, in Prasanthi Nilayam, but in my heart, in my home town in Hungary. I had been preparing for a month for this trip, and when I arrived, I felt I had come home. I have known about Swami for some years now, and decided that finally it was time for me to come here. I know the body lasts only for a short period, but the soul is eternal.
There have been some hardships here such as sitting for long periods, twisting my ankle, etc., but it also enabled me to let go of my resistance to ask for help. I knew it was only my ego being proud; this is one of things I had to overcome. When I sat quietly before Darshan, thought of Swami and visualised Him, my spirits rose beyond the physical inconvenience.
I became part of the choir to be close to Him. During the practice sessions, I was thinking of Swami so much that my whole attitude changed and my spirits lifted. Being in the group, brought me closer to Him. I had many feelings of devotion for Swami before I came here, but when I saw Him for the first time, this feeling of love for Him became more elevated and stronger than ever. If I could express how much Swami means to me, I would answer with a song which means “Deep within my heart and soul, I find the Being without form” - which is a description of Swami. I feel this so deeply that I cannot express it in words. There is a happy end to this story. I was walking to my room feeling the pain in my ankle, accompanying another lady who had poor eye sight. As we helped each other along, we were talking about Swami, and suddenly the pain disappeared. The third Hungarian we spoke too, was a young man, Imre, who also saw Swami for the first time in December 2007. What impact did Swami’s Darshan have on him? Imre narrates: I came to know of Swami three years ago, and later heard of this group pilgrimage to Prasanthi. Luckily, there was a place for me to travel and the journey to Puttaparthi was quite beautiful. My first days here were tough as I was quite sick. I also found my back aching sitting in the Darshan Hall for long hours. But when I first saw Swami and experienced His Endless Love, I knew my decision to visit Prasanthi was right. During our second Darshan, Swami took all our letters, and I was crying like a baby for 15-20 minutes. I could feel His Unceasing Love and Grace for me. His Mesmerizing Presence
Often, during Darshan, I could smell this beautiful fragrance which I cannot describe. I felt as though someone was embracing me. I felt as if I was being purified.
In the beginning, I did everything by myself and did not want to be a part of the group. I am a self-made man; I have always done things the way I wanted to do, I have earned enough and have been quite successful. But during the practice sessions of group songs, I realised I should be part of the group, and felt the power of the unity of the group. Though I normally do things my way, here, in the group I felt the call of service. I love Baba. And when I see the eyes of many people here, I see the reflection of His Endless Love; my objective is to keep this feeling alive in myself. If I had the opportunity, I would have stayed longer here, nevertheless, I return happier, rich with all these beautiful experiences I have had here. I am also regretful as I have to leave. And here is another moving personal experience from Cecilia, a young lady, who too had come to see Bhagavan for the first time in 2007. But Cecilia had seen Swami and experienced His Presence even before physically seeing Him. So, how did she feel when she saw Swami in Prasanthi? Here is her account: “Yes! I am home, I am here!” – Cecilia
This is my first visit here (December 2007), but when I was planning to come here I felt I was coming home. When I got here I said to myself, “Yes! I am home, I am here!” In my heart, in my life and in my soul I feel this wonderful feeling. I first heard about Swami ten years ago. At that time, I felt I was not ready and did not take any further interest in Him.
Since I was a little girl, I have had Jesus Christ in my heart, but a few years ago I went to an esoteric school and started to know more about Sai Baba and His Teachings. About one year ago, a big group returned from Prasanthi Nilayam. They were blessed with an interview and they shared beautiful experiences they had with Swami. After I heard their sacred stories, I realised that I too need to come closer to Swami. Not long after this, I was on my balcony, and felt Swami appeared to me and entered my heart. I saw Swami’s Form clearly and He looked deep into my eyes. I even felt His Hair as if He was really there - it was such a real experience. When I had my first Darshan, I saw Swami from a distance and was a little disappointed as I could not feel that strong Presence I had felt in my vision and experience on my balcony. The next day, however, I went inside the Bhajan Hall, and while waiting for Swami before the bhajans started, I felt His strong Presence even before Swami arrived; it is a feeling I cannot explain. “For me, Swami is God – no question about it!” - Cecilia I have no conflict at all being a follower of Jesus and coming to see Sai Baba. I feel, in my heart, it is all One - only God exists.
Swami has helped to end my six years of unemployment, and now I work in a pharmacy where I also speak about Swami to anyone who is interested. Also, I wanted to have a husband, and after getting to know about Swami, reading His discourses and thinking about Him, I met my partner; I am very happy. Since I have become more aware of Swami and His Teachings, I have started to have more self-esteem; I am more sure about myself, and I am able to stand up for myself and my beliefs, and also for others who need help. For me, Swami is God – no question about it! Dear reader, what we have offered you in this small compilation is only a glimpse of how the Lord is changing lives of millions in His own myriad ways. Out of the about 180 Hungarians who were in Prasanthi, we have here the stories of only four, whom we spoke to randomly. In the inner recesses of every devotee, there is a tale that can touch the lives of a thousand others, for; such is the inscrutable Glory of Sai! Dear Reader, did this article inspire you in any way? Would you like to share you feelings with us? Please write to us at h2h@radiosai.org mentioning your name and country. Thank you for your time. |
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Vol 6 Issue 04 - APRIL 2008
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