Bhakti is a state of dualism. In this state, there are two entities - God and the devotee. The two are so close that they cannot ever be torn apart or separated. Bhakti binds the devotee to God. Surrender, on the other hand, is a state of monism or Advaitam. Once the devotee says there is only God and nothing else, he ceases to have an independent existence - he does not exist as a separate entity. The devotee never ever considers anything as "his". He moves completely away from the "I" feeling.

An example: Water and sugar differ both in form and properties. This is dualism, or the path of Bhakti. Suppose sugar is added to water and the water is stirred. The sugar will dissolve and spread throughout the water. In this condition, there is neither pure water nor sugar; instead, there is syrup. This is surrender or Advaitam - the devotee offers everything to God and keeps nothing for himself, including his mind.

There can be no question that faith must come first. It is faith that takes one to Love. One loves one's mother or friend because of the faith one has in those persons. If there is no faith, can there be love for those people? Therefore, if the question is "which comes first", then the answer is that faith comes first.

It is only when there is faith that one can have experience. Faith is the basis of everything. An example: If someone who wants to learn swimming says, 'I will first learn swimming and then enter water', it would be absolutely ridiculous! Can you learn swimming on sand or on a road? You necessarily have to learn it in water. Swimming is like experience and faith is like water. Know for sure that faith always comes first.

Actually, detachment is quite easy. In Swami's view, holding on is more difficult. See here. I am holding on tightly to this handkerchief. Now I let go. The kerchief falls. Which is more difficult? To hold on tightly, or to let go? To hold tight, I must exert pressure with all the five fingers. This calls for effort. But to release the hold, it is so much easier! Hence, attachment is more difficult than detachment!

Your approach to spiritual practice is not correct, and you must understand some essentials. Let Me give an example. Children commence their studies in the Kindergarten, then go through school, pass the 10th Standard, then the 12th Standard, then enter College, and study for the B.A., B.Com., degrees etc. How many years all this takes! And how much effort is required to earn a University degree! If one must struggle so hard for a mere worldly degree, then is it correct to expect instant results and rewards when one is going in quest of the Infinite and the Eternal? It is wrong to expect immediate rewards.