BY STEP GUIDE TO INSTALLING LOVE ON THE HUMAN MACHINE.
Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical,
but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open
folder called your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several
programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they
Tech Support: What programs are running
Customer: Let me see... I have PASTHURT.EXE,
LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right
Support: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase
PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain
in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other
programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with
a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE However,you have
to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those
programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you
turn those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them
off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: My pleasure. Go to your Start
menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as
necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely
Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started
installing itself automatically. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes it is. You should receive
a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your
HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you
have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to
other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops...I have an error message
already. What should I do?
Tech Support: What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM
NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What does that mean?
Tech Support: Don't worry ma'am, that's
a common problem.It means that the LOVE program is set up
to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your
HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things,
but in non-technical terms it means - "you have to 'LOVE'
your own machine before it can "LOVE" others."
Customer: So what should I do?
Tech Support: Can you find the directory
Customer: Yes, I have it.
Tech Support: Excellent, you are getting
good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
Tech Support : You're welcome. Click on
the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART"
directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT,
and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting
files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you
need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then
empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely
gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling
up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor
right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM
are copying themselves all over my HEART!
Tech Support: Then LOVE is installed and
running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more
thing before I go
Tech Support: LOVE is freeware. Be sure
to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet.They
will in turn share it with other people and they will return
some really neat modules back to you. Customer: I will. Thank
you for your help
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