"HIS LOVE...THROUGHOUT MY LIFE"

by Mrs. Geeta Ram

Mrs. Geeta Ram comes from a family which has been associated with Swami for the last four generations. She is the daughter of Dr. Padmanabhan, an ardent devotee and a familiar figure in 'Brindavan', Swami's ashram in Bangalore. Her great grandfather, Mr. Seshagiri Rao, came to Swami in 1943 and was the temple priest of Prashanthi Nilayam for many years. Having come to Swami at a very tender age, Mrs. Geeta Ram's life is full of wonderful Sai experiences and amazing anecdotes which are both interesting and illuminating. Currently, she lives in Washington, DC.

This is the talk we aired on Radio Sai sometime back. Full of wonderful instances, we have divided this talk into two parts, Part - I and Part - II, for ease of reading.

PART - I

Whenever I talk about my own experiences, the child growing up at His Feet or about my youth or adulthood, I always go back in time and enjoy that incident. I was fortunate enough to be born in a family, where my great grandfather came to Swami in 1943, so ever since then we have had the fortune to enjoy His physical presence since we were living in Bangalore.

The First Incident…

In my childhood it used to take almost 11 hours to go to Puttaparthi, by train, bus, bullock cart, walking and wading in the river. We had Swami with us from 6 in the morning until 10 in the night. In fact my great aunt used to tell Swami, “Please go now we have to do our household work. You are always with us and we can not wash our clothes.” It sounds like a dream.

Now He tells us, “My blessings are with you, you can go now.” In those days He would call us and say, “Stay one more day.” I will now share with you the first incident - if not for which I would not be speaking before you today if it were not for His Grace a month ago.

On November 22nd last month at our Sai centre in South Bethesda, we had planned a very big 4-day programme for Swami’s Birthday, for Thanksgiving weekend. Our programme would begin on the 23rd afternoon, so on 22nd evening I had been very busy. I had been the Education coordinator there, and since it was a big programme I had been very busy for 3 months getting the children ready.

ATM Robbery

So on 22nd evening around 5.30pm I decided I would buy some flowers and fruits for my morning worship; so I went to a store, which happened to be in a very big shopping area. There was a crowd buying things for Thanksgiving, and on the way I went to an ATM. I parked my car to draw some money and opened the door to get out, but as I did so a man ran over the grassy area from behind and opened the back door of my car and got in. He put his left arm around me and in his right hand he had a knife which he put to my throat and said, “Drive, drive, drive!”

I could not drive the car since I had not shut the door, so I said, “Look if it is the money you want I will give it to you”.

He said, “No, don’t you see they are chasing me - drive!”

I said, “Let me shut the door” and in that delay Swami’s grace appeared. Due to that delay two police cars, which had apparently been chasing him, blocked my car from both ends. Then six police officers came towards my car. But when they realized that he had a knife around my neck they stopped fifteen feet away from my car, so they could see him and he could see them.

I could not see him, but I have a little picture of Swami stuck to my car’s glass shield and I had my hand on it. As the police were approaching I started to speak to him, “Look if you do anything to me you will be in trouble - you would be in prison for life. But if you give up now you will be in prison for 2 or 3 years. Neither can you run out of the car nor can I drive you out - so don’t you think you should give up.”

“How is Geeta?”

There was a pause and then he said, “How come you are not afraid?”

I said, “What is the use of being afraid. You have complete control over me and I cannot do anything. If it is my time to go I have to. My children are very much settled, but you will not be able to go anywhere, so you would be better off if you give yourself up.” There was a pause again, and of course all the while it was Swami who was talking through me.

Then he said, “OK”, opened the door and put his hands up in the air and started to walk towards the police officers. As he passed my car the police pounced on him and it was terrible to see police pounce on a human being who has submitted.

They dragged him away and threw him in the police car and then two policemen came to enquire whether I was fine. But I asked them why they had to treat him in that way when he submitted, and how does the law work out if a lawyer is with him? They were all thinking I was slightly crazy or I had misplaced sympathies, whereas I was supposed to be worried about a lawyer for myself. Then of course they started to ask me about what I had spoken to him so that he had opened the car door and given himself up.

So I explained all that happened and they could not believe it. So that’s what happened that day. So I guess I have been a troublesome child to Swami all through. In fact Swami joked with me once - “Everybody celebrates My Birthday and you always give Me work on My birthday.”

It happened that my parents were there in Parthi on the 24th and they were not aware of what had happened. On that day when my mother was sitting in Darshan Swami came towards her and said, “How is Geetha?”

She said, “She is alright Swami, she is fine.”

Then Swami said “Oh! Is she fine?”

My mother was taken aback because she realised that Swami knows something about me. Then she said, “Swami, I talked to her on the 10th and she was fine then, after which I did not contact her.”

Then Swami told her, “Now she is fine.”

She thought that maybe I was sick and that now I must be alright. So when she came back from Parthi, I told her of this incident and then she realized what Swami tried to tell her that day.

Swami Is Always With Us

When Swami came back to Brindavan on 2nd of December, my father was there - he is the man who walks behind Swami to collect letters. Swami described to him all that had happened to me. And Swami said, “She is crazy, she is always crazy, she was asking for a lawyer for that fellow.” The point I want to make here is that Swami is always with us and He will take care of us, but sometimes we don’t know or believe it, because the quality of life we lead is sometimes not up to Swami’s expectations. So things like this reassure us that Swami is always with us and He knows every thought, word and action.

This is How Life is - Snakes and Ladders

In those days Swami used to come and stay with us in Bangalore and He was part of our family. For many years in my childhood He was a wonderful uncle for me. He used to talk with elders in the evening but also had a special time for us children where he used to tell us either stories, or play some games with us. Even though He would play games with us He used to teach us lessons in His own way. One of the games He would always play with us was Snakes and Ladders.

We children would say, “Swami we don’t want to play this game with You, as You always win.”

The dice would roll the number He wanted. Then He would say, “No, no I will play like you.”

Then He would be behind for some time losing and suddenly He would be again right at the top and then say, “Look at you useless people - you don’t even know how to play Snakes and Ladders! This is how life is, full of snakes and ladders. Sometimes you go up and sometimes you come down, but your goal is to reach 100 - divinity. To do that you have to face both snakes and ladders, at the same time you have your set of dice in the hands of God. He will take you across in a boat.”

Dial Vibhuti

This incident happened to me when I was eight years old. At that time, my grandmother who lived in Parthi was sent by Swami to Bangalore for an eye operation. When she went through the checkup she was told that she needed surgery. She had deep faith in Swami and wanted to go back to Parthi to pray for Swami’s blessings.

But my father said, “Why do you want to go? He sent you.”

“No, these doctors will make me blind, so I need His blessings,” she replied.

My father did not agree to the request. That night my parents had gone somewhere and my grandmother was telling me that she is dependent on my father to take her to Parthi and he was not ready to take her, but she wanted Swami’s blessings.

Suddenly the phone rings and there was a long distance call from Bukkapatnam and Swami was there on the telephone! Those days there was no phone service in Parthi. He said, “Is this Geetha?” I said, “Yes, Swami” He said, “Is the old lady complaining? Put her on the phone.” Then she started complaining to Swami that she is not allowed to come to Him and that the doctors will blind her and all other things possible.

On the other side Swami said that His blessings are with her; but then my grandmother replied, “Your blessings are there but I want your Vibhuti, without it how can I go.” That was the kind of personal love she had for Him. Swami says, “You can demand. I am your mother.”

So I think He said to give the phone to me, and then He said, “Geetha, do you find a piece of paper anywhere there.” I said, “Yes, Swami.” “Put it near the phone.” So I put the telephone down and there came a mound of Vibhuti onto the paper, enough for the whole month! I knew that the phone service does not provide such things, so I was surprised!

And then Swami said very sweetly in Telugu “Vachinda? (Did you get it?) Give it to the old woman - she will be very happy.”

Her Only Refuge

I was very happy and excited about this experience, but later on after all the excitement had gone down I started to think that if we believe Him to be God He can do anything. But looking on the other side of the miracle, the old lady’s faith could draw Swami from across 100 miles, across the telephone wires, and He responded to her whose only refuge was Him. And I learnt that the greatest miracle is the Lord’s response to the devotee’s prayer made in complete faith.

Swami taught this lesson to us children, who were then so troublesome. It used to happen that Swami would create Paries chocolates, and we used to ask Him to create some other chocolate such as Cadburys which was rare. So from that kind of mentality I realized that He is not here for creating such petty things but something more. So in this way, due to His love, I started to learn many lessons.

Sai’s Non-Violence

One such wonderful lesson I learnt during the Summer Course. Swami always tells us that we should not destroy anything because we are not capable of creating anything. During a Summer Course I happened to be there with a friend and that particular day the subject for discussion was non-violence. We heard many speeches and in the evening my friend and I would make notes sitting down in the lawns. As we were talking and making notes for the day we were pulling grass from the lawn and in between us was created a heap of grass.

Then my friend said, “Look at this Geetha - we talked about non-violence and we have pulled out so much grass.” I said, “Why do you continuously speak philosophy, it's just grass,” and that was end of the conversation.

Every day during the Summer Course we had to get up at 4 am and go for Omkaram, Gayathri chanting etc. but I was not a person for all these - I wanted to sleep. So I would sit at the back of the hall and would sleep. One day as I was taking my nap there was a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and there was Swami, catching me red handed sleeping in meditation. I thought that that He would kick me out of the course and what would my father say?

Swami said, “Don’t make noise, come outside.” We went to the rose garden, which was right next to the tent. Then He said, “Hey, what did you do yesterday?” I thought that I was saved because Swami did not mention my sleeping.

I said, “Swami, I don’t remember anything about yesterday.”

Then He said, “No, no what were you doing with your friend?”

I said, “I was all the time talking to her Swami”.

“Not talking - did you not pull grass! How can you pull out a living thing? It is not an inanimate thing, come here.”

The Rose Touch of Pure Love

Then He took me to a rose bush and touched a tiny little rose bud, which was nowhere near blossoming. And just as you would see in a video the rose bud began to grow bigger and bigger, finally blossoming into a red rose. A foolish thing came out of my mouth, “Swami, You can do it but I can’t.”

Swami replied “No, no you can do it too; come here.” Then He held my hand and made me touch another rose bud. The same thing happened - it grew bigger and bigger and turned into a rose. Swami said, “If you show love to anything in this world, it will respond. But you have to show it the way I do it, that is what you have to learn; learn to show love, don’t destroy. Go and sit down.”

So I survived the Summer Course. But I had learnt a great lesson not to hurt anything. Then in 1988 Swami told me “Go to America.” I said, “Swami when You had me married You promised me that you would keep me with you.” Swami replied, “I kept you for 10 years - now you go to America”. So I went to America. In the first summer my husband was mowing the lawns and I told him, “Mohan, for pulling out a few blades of grass I got into trouble and you are going to cut the whole area. I cannot go back to Puttaparthi.”

The Correct Medicine

In 1992 Swami had called us for an interview. As soon as I entered the interview room Swami said, “In America you have to cut the grass.” By now I was a grown up lady with two children and that experience had happened when I was young girl. Swami laughed and said, “That is just a haircut.” When I was 15 I needed that lesson, now when 30 I knew the difference. So Swami’s teachings changes depending upon our age. Swami says, “When three patients come with stomach pain they have to be given different medicine; they cannot have the same medicine.”

He always says, “We have to have harmony in thought, word and action.” He is the right person to see it personified in. I will tell you two incidents.

When He told me to go to America I cried that I would not, but then He finally said I have to go. So my husband came before me and two months later I came along with my children who were five years old. I had heavy baggage since all my relatives and friends were giving things for their people in America and in this way my luggage was increasing.

Then my father started telling me, “What is this? Swami says less luggage and you are carrying so much. You are not following any of Swami’s teachings.”

“I Will Lift Her Suitcase”

He generalizes in this way and so we had a little argument in the car about this. We went to Brindavan and there Swami said, “What - Padmanabham as usual scolding you?” My father said, “Swami she is not listening to any of Your teachings; she is taking three suitcases.”

So Swami said, “Why are you worried - it is her suitcase, let her carry what she wants.”

Then my father said, “Swami, it is very heavy she cannot lift it.”

Swami said, “Are you lifting it? I will lift her suitcase.”

All this was in fun and we all laughed. I did not give much thought to it and landed in San Francisco. As my father had predicted I could not carry my suitcases, as they were so heavy. My problem was to put them on the trolley, which I could not do and my five-year-old sons (twins) were going here and there.

Somehow I managed but then there was an announcement on the PA system announcing my name, to come to the Singapore airlines counter. There a lady told me that there is a gentlemen here waiting to help you out with your luggage. There was a very nice Afro-American gentleman wearing identification and a badge. I forgot about what happened in Brindavan; instead I thought what a wonderful man my husband is, he has sent somebody to help me.

Since this was the first time I was coming many papers had to be cleared and all this time this tall man was with me. And when we came to customs, he said, “Are you going to open up the suitcases - the poor lady has been here for an hour.” So customs cleared us.

We came out and my husband was there, he turned the car and as he put the luggage in I said, “We have to pay the porter.” We searched for him but he was not there. And then as we were going in the car I narrated all that had happened in the interview with Swami: the argument with my father and the final word of Swami that He would carry my luggage. As I said these words it struck me.

The next morning as my father saw Swami, He said “You were right Padmanabham - what did she carry in those suitcases, they were so heavy.” Ever since then, I make sure that if I ask Him for help I will never pray to Him to lift my luggage. When I later met Swami I said, “Swami, I made you lift my heavy suitcases,” Swami replied “What? I came to lift the burden of the world, how do your suitcases matter?”

Swami’s Seat Beside Me

That is my Swami - in every single way He shows us that He is there. Even a simple joke turned out to be true. Even when we joke he hears us. My two children were fighting in the car to sit in front and I told them that they couldn’t sit there. This went on for many days and one fine day I said, “Don’t you know that it’s Swami’s seat beside me and I have to drive, so you cannot sit there.” Then the argument stopped and they would sit quietly at the back.

After four years I went to Parthi, since Swami told me not to come for four years. Then in Darshan lines in Parthi, Swami said, “Front seat is for me! But you are keeping all your audio tapes there - where can I sit?” I was not telling my children the truth – in fact I never believed Swami to be in that seat. I told them that to make them stop the argument.

So basically Swami showed me - no harmony in thought, word and deed. Because of this disharmony we do not see Him with us. He always gives an example; He tells us that mind is like a monkey, it cannot sit still; it goes here and there, not only is it a monkey but it is also a mad monkey. Also it is a drunken mad monkey. And then again he says not only is it drunken, but it is also bitten by a scorpion.

Beginning of Akhanda Bhajan

I would like to share one wonderful experience of faith and love now. In 1945 my grandfather started the Akhanda Bhajan that we now do in a global way in the month of November. At that time we used to do it as a family Bhajan. Eight families would get together for Bhajans on every Thursday in their houses by rotation. So this went on from 1943 to 1944.

They finished one year and then thought on that day let us have a 24-hour repetition of Namasmarana. So my grandfather wrote to Swami that He should bless them to start Akhanda Bhajan. The reply came, ‘My blessings are there and I am coming for Akhanda Bhajan.’

So that’s how it started - Swami would come on Wednesday to our house at lunchtime and after that He would say, “Where is Akhanda Bhajan? Have you rented a hall? I want to see the hall.” And there we would make some flower decorations and we would place Swami’s photo. Swami would say, “Look at my photo; I am not smiling - change that photo.” In fact, what we have learnt is that we have to pay attention to every little detail when we are arranging something.

On one such occasion we were all doing the assigned jobs and Swami was looking at each one of us doing our jobs. Then after a few minutes we saw that Swami was not there and that He was behind the stage where there were two rooms. One, where we arranged a table and chair for Swami to relax, and the other was a storage room where we had put our things and left our slippers.

So we were searching where Swami was and we saw Swami arranging everybody’s sandals in a neat single row. Immediately we told our elders and they came running to stop Swami. Swami said, “You people were so busy, you forgot to put these sandals in a proper manner, so I am putting them properly as I did not have any work.”

Devotion Renders Cure

On one occasion before the Bhajan a young man had come to my house. He had some skin problem but he was a wonderful singer. He asked my father to convey to Swami to bless him since he had a skin problem. My father refused and suggested that he can have Swami’s Darshan during the Bhajan and if Swami wills it, it will cure.

He attended Bhajan and began singing. In the evening Swami came for dinner to my house and told my mother to go and attend the Bhajan and that He would stay back.

Suddenly at 10 pm it started to rain. Swami said, “Padmanabhan get the car I have to go to Bhajans.” My father suggested that He could relax as He had been busy 6 hours and he would take Him in the early morning. But Swami said that He wanted to go and He asked me also to come. And there the young man was singing with a most devoted tone, fully immersed.

And as He sang “Darasha Dikhavo” (‘Grant me Darshan’) Swami entered and stood in front of him, without him knowing and everybody in the hall was looking at this. As he finished the Bhajan he opened his eyes and Swami bent down and blessed his head - and right in front of our eyes all the patches on his body disappeared. That is what devotion can do. How can we not love such a Lord who was supposed to retire for the day but comes in the middle of the night to answer prayers?

PART - II Silver Service Sometimes He even answers prayers which come out of anger. One day after I just came to US, I had not even unpacked my luggage, one elderly lady had come to my house and I had wanted to give her fruits and kumkum (vermillion), a south Indian custom. I was looking for the silver container which had the kumkum and did not find it. Since my childhood my parents have brought me up in such a way that I don’t come with any problem to them. So that day I was very irritated within. And I was telling my husband, “Why does He put me through this kind of test; can’t He give me a better test; I am eligible for a better test.” Anyway, I unpacked my boxes next day and not finding the silver container I became even more upset. And in that irritation I said to myself that He is all the time so busy with these college students, so He does not remember us. I had hardly said this and half an hour later there is a knock on my door. I opened the door and there is an Indian person that I don’t know, who asked me whether I am Geetha, Padmanabhan’s daughter? She said, “I am on my way to the airport; in India your parents wanted me to give a small package to you, telling that Swami had given this package to be given during the birthday celebration.” I open the package and inside it was a silver container with kumkum in it! ‘I Have Come to Your Home’ I would like to share an incident on service which happened in 1970. Swami is so particular about service and He wants us to do service with love. Swami had asked my mother to visit Europe to go to some Sai centers there. There was a center at London and Swami had written letters to them to take care of her. So before leaving He called us for an interview and in that interview room Swami was talking to everybody. There was one particular lady who, whenever Swami paused, was asking Swami to come to her town. She was asking Him, even though Swami was ignoring her. Then finally Swami became irritated and said, “What? I have come to your town. I have not only come to your town but also come to your home.” She was making her case even more emphatic and she said, “No, Swami, you have not come Swami.” Then He changed the topic and Swami said, “How is the Seva going on in your town?” She said that it is going on well. In those days Swami used to suggest that everyday when we cook we keep a morsel of rice and collect it from every house and give it to somebody, so that we have that feeling of service every day. Then this lady started speaking about the service activities in her town, since she was in charge and she was proudly recounting all the activities. Swami said “Very happy.” ‘Two Rupees Rice or Five Rupees Rice’ Then He said, “Two rupees rice or five rupees rice?” This lady said that different people bring different rice. Then Swami said, “I am not asking about other people I am asking what rice do you get?” She was still reluctant and said “Good rice, Swami.” Swami retorted “What! For poor people, for Narayana Seva two rupees rice and for family five rupees rice? Two rupees rice which is not cleaned and in which stones are there - that is what you are serving with.” Even then this lady said “No Swami.” Then Swami got up from the chair and said, “You don’t believe me, two years back I came to your house as a beggar and you gave Me rice which you saved for Narayana Seva. You got it in a red cloth and gave it to Me - you don’t believe Me wait!” He went inside the inner room, coming out with a red bag and said, “Did you not give this to me?” You can imagine… that poor lady was sobbing. The basic message, which Swami was trying to convey, was to do service with love. If you don’t feel love you better not do service. If you don’t see Sai in the person whom you are serving then don’t do the service. This was a very strong lesson, which I cannot forget to this day. Subbulakshmi Surprise There is another incident, which conveys how Swami teaches us simple things in beautiful ways. When I was a young girl in Brindavan we were given some jobs, as there was no Sevadal gardener and cook. Everything was done by us. So my job was to set up the altar in Swami’s bungalow and I used to come only once a week since I had school on other days. That particular weekend I did not want to go because MS Subbulakshmi (a very famous classical vocalist) was giving a concert in Bangalore - Swami is always there, but MS comes only once a while! But my parents were very strict and committed to Swami. They said, “Once you are committed to Swami you should do the work.” Then I said “Why can’t you do it for today.” Then my parents replied that I should have informed Swami last week. Then I requested for half the concert. Mother said that we can come back after Swami’s Bhajan. Then I grumbled, “Swami sits and goes on answering questions after Bhajan and He will take an hour.” But I had to go. Everyone was doing their job but I had a long face. Swami was moving around the house and He looked at me, saying “Hey ‘castor oil face’, what is wrong with you, why are you banging my pictures? What happened, an argument with mother?” “Swami, today there is a concert by MS Subbalaxmi in Bangalore.” Then Swami said, “She is a great singer isn’t she. Then why did you not go?” “Swami, my mother told me I have to do my duty first.” Swami replied, “She could have cleaned the altar. At least she should have done that much. OK, you can go a little late, but if I start speaking after Bhajans then you will be late.” So Swami was speaking of all that I had told my mother. Then Swami said, “Today I will not speak after Bhajans - you all go for the programme.” I was thrilled. Bhajans started and Swami was also singing. After sometime Swami asked everybody to wait and that He would come back. Five minutes later Swami walks in with Subbulakshmi! We were all shocked and Swami said, “Subbalaxmi, didn’t you have a concert today in Bangalore?” “No Swami,” she replied, “There was a misprint in the newspaper, it’s tomorrow.” Swami told her “See that young girl sitting there, she loves your music so much.” He then gave her a list of songs which I like and asked her to sing those songs. She was a very good devotee of Swami and with all devotion she gave a private concert to the Lord. Then Swami called me and said “See when you do your duty, God will reward you in more ways than you expect. You heard the concert today; you can go to the concert tomorrow as well.” Vibhuti Chemistry One other thing He did for me concerns my inadequate grasp of chemistry. Even with Swami it was a joke, but He used to tell me to study hard. It was during 2nd year, which would be the last year and I thought I would get away with it. I had a practical exam the next day and had prepared the whole of the night. Swami was in Brindavan, so I told my mother that I would go for Darshan. My mother started telling me that I could go tomorrow after the exam. Then I told my mother that I had studied enough, but I was not going to pass and instead I would like to go for Darshan. When we arrived for Darshan Swami came straight to me and said “Papam (so sorry) chemistry exam is it not? Did you study?” I said, “Yes Swami, but I have forgotten whatever I studied.” Swami said, “No, I have seen you studying hard, what happened?” Then He created Vibhuti saying, “Tomorrow when you go for the exam, put it in the test tube.” And that was only occasion when I got 98% in chemistry. If you run to Him for everything then He is there for everything. Food for Love One more way of showing His love for me happened at the Anantapur Women’s College, which was started in 1968. At that time the World Conference was going on in Bombay, so Swami asked my mother to attend the conference because she was going to be a coordinator. And for the first time my mother left me on my own. So since my mother was not there, my father told me that he would take me to a nice restaurant for breakfast after Darshan. For some reason I was missing my mother that day, and in Darshan Swami said, “Missing mummy is it?” I said, "Yes, Swami” and then Swami said, “Don’t feel bad. At 10.30am I am going to Anantapur to see the construction. You come with me.” So He instructed my father to follow Him by car to Anantapur. So we were following Swami and my father being a serious person does not like to sing or talk much. So He told me not to talk and told me to do Bhajans till Anantapur. So I started to sing very reluctantly and he did not even follow. I had to sing the first and second line with no breakfast. My father said, “Do not stop or talk because Swami can see us from the front.” After 25 miles Swami’s car stopped, and Swami gets down from the car and not even wearing sandals, walks to our car and says, “Hey! How many Bhajans are you making her sing? The poor girl is hungry, you have not fed her anything, you are making her sing so many Bhajans and you are not even following?” Then Swami goes to the car finds some fruits and says, “I know you do not like fruits but for now you eat them and as soon as we reach Anantapur I will arrange for lunch.” Watch for the Wave In Anantapur Swami was going through all the classrooms and in one of the rooms Swami’s sister had prepared some food from Parthi and had brought it to Anantapur. Swami had taken His plate and was serving all the dishes onto the plate, and people suggested that Swami should sit and eat. He said, “You know Padmanabhan’s daughter, a small girl, has not had anything since morning”. He was skipping some dishes, I was wondering why, and then He said, “You do not like garlic is it not? I am skipping those.” I was embarrassed and said, “Swami, you have not eaten - how can I eat?” Swami said, “No, no the children have not eaten, so how can elders eat? If I stand here you will not eat. I am going for one more round, by the time I come back you should finish the whole thing.” That was Swami’s love, so thoughtful, like a mother who could not bear the fact that a child is hungry. In the evening Swami said, “There is no point in you coming to Brindavan. Near Devanahalli, I will take a left turn and you will go straight. Watch out for me, I will wave.” Near the junction He pulls down the window and waves at me. These are the kinds of lessons He teaches, so that when I am a mother, a wife, a teacher, I can put it into practice. Kindergarten Chaos I will tell you a very strange incident which happened a few years back. I used to teach 5-year-old kindergarten boys. There was this boy who came to my class, whom many had told me to be careful of because he was a terror. On the first day as he enters the class he picks up a chair and throws it at the other children, then he throws some hard blocks and carried on in this way. I tried everything - talking to the child, to the mother, to the director of the school, but his mischief went on. I failed as a teacher, and a child used to get hurt everyday and that parent would come and complain. Everyday I would tell my husband about this child and he would suggest that I quit the job - but that is not the way. After four months I was fed up and prayed to Swami, “You had told me to love everybody.” (When I was a Balvikas teacher He had told me that ‘Your children are kamaputras, born of desire, whereas Balvikas children are Premaputras, born of love, so as they are more precious you should give them more love.’) I said, “You told me to love all the children, but I cannot love this child anymore. Everyday I enter the classroom I wish he is absent. There is something lacking in me as a teacher. It’s not his mistake as he is just 5 years old. I blame You because You were my teacher and You did not teach me properly. If the child does not change tomorrow then I will resign. You will fail as a psychologist and I will fail as a teacher.” Acting Handsome So I threatened Swami and then went to work. The child would dress well and everyday ask me if the clothes were smart. So he asked me the same question again. The words that came were not what I had planned, I said “You look handsome, but you should act handsome.” He asked me “What does ‘act handsome’ mean?” I said “You should not only look good outside but also inside, so that you are good to your friends, so that they like you.” He said, “That means I should not beat up anybody?” I said, “Yes”. Then for next 20 minutes there was no head injury in my class. He comes back and says “Does that mean that even if somebody annoys me I should not be mean to them?” I said that he should not hurt anybody. Then he said, “That’s really tough”, “That is tough” I replied, “But you can come and tell me and I can talk to the one who is annoying you.” All the kids were playing in the ground and there were two boys arguing between themselves, and this boy said, “Hey you guys, you are not acting handsome, start acting handsome.” The boy changed slowly. He comes and meets me every Christmas; he is now in fourth grade. This time he said, “Do you know I am the guy who resolves the conflicts in my classroom.” Swami works out everything. Two years ago when I went to Parthi He asked me, “How is that school rowdy?” Share Love One wonderful example of His Omnipresence is that He once told me that I should be speaking to people about Him. I asked “Swami why are you doing this to me?” and He replied, “Do you think I gave all My love all these years to you just for free? So share it with everybody.” One day Swami told me to speak on non-violence as the Vice-President was coming. So I was very excited. I prepared a very good speech but the next day when I saw the people I was very nervous and I said that I would not speak. Swami said, “Why are you scared? Show me what you have prepared. You are going to talk so much. Do you know that if it is a bad speech it is not only your 10 minutes wasted, but also if there are 300 people, 10 minutes x 300 is wasted. The first thing you do is smile. If you smile they feel like talking to you - that is all you have to do. I will tell you one more thing. You are a girl - smile and you will not get wrinkles when you are old.” That is how Swami has shared His love throughout my life. If you want to listen to this talk in Mrs. Geetha Mohan Ram's own voice, download the audio clip here. (13MB)