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Posted on: Apr 04, 2015
Part 02
The Master of the Mind
If you look at Swami's life He too has interacted with every strata of society. Even for each one of us the way He used to tell us the message when we were small versus when we were growing up is so varied. When I look back I realise that the way Swami used to interact and teach when I was in my 11th or 12th grade, began changing when I was graduating. Only now when I start ruminating I realise in what a beautiful way Swami gave messages. He was ensuring that I was slowly rising in my level of understanding.
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| The golden Brindavan days of old... |
There is a beautiful experience that I had towards the end of my 11th grade. This was in summer vacation. Swami was in Brindavan. We never went home and most of the time we used to stay wherever Swami was, whether in Brindavan or Parthi. At that age it's common for everyone to have lot of impure thoughts which are not in our control; our mind goes all over the place.
In the days of the old mandir, except during bhajans, the rest of the time we used to be standing. Swami would be sitting or walking or talking to someone or moving around, and we would be just there in and around His residence.
In fact all the boys used to stand inside the Brindavan compound across the path that Swami took. This was before the construction of 'Trayee Brindavan'. Then, boys did not sit for darshan like devotees. We would be standing in the garden and the minute Swami came out all of us would surround Him. There were deer in front of Bhagawan's bungalow. If Swami went there, all of us would run and be around Him.
That particular morning, after Swami had finished granting interview to a devotee, He came and sat on the chair in bhajan hall. Some guests like Mr. Gangadhar Shetty were sitting near Him. We were all standing outside because it was still not time for bhajans.
I was standing there and because of my negative thoughts I stood in the second or third row; I wanted to see Swami but at the same time did not want to face Him. These are moments when we want to see Swami but we don't want Swami to see us.
However Swami knows everything. He is such a loving mother. Swami was having a conversation with the others. Suddenly He looked at me and said, “Etla vunnavu raa - How are you?” I said, “Swami, very fine” because we always tend to deceive ourselves first. Moreover near Swami we don't want to show anything.
Then Swami said, “No, no, no, no, no, no. Bumps and jumps... bumps and jumps.” It was a typical way of Swami to let us know about our instability. Swami used this expression commonly in those days. It simply meant “Your mind is not stable; it's going up and down all the time.”
Then, I said, “Yes Swami” because I immediately realised that Swami knows what is going on in my mind and there's no point hiding anything.
The way Swami gave me confidence in the very next instant is the beauty of His mode of teaching. I was expecting Him to say, “Buddhi ledhu – Don't you have any sense? Why are you wasting time in unnecessary thoughts and things?” I thought He would give me a piece of His mind.
Instead, Swami picked up His soft white kerchief which was absolutely pure and white, and said, “Your mind is as pure as this white kerchief.”
I was thrilled because I myself was not confident that my mind was so pure. I was absolutely certain that my mind was not there yet. Actually I was in that self-denial and self-defeating mode. Not only did I not want to face Swami I was also feeling guilty. I was not happy with myself.
Now when Swami said that my mind is as pure as the white cloth, the first thought was “Thank God! He is not angry with me; He is not going to reprimand me.” Secondly, it just tremendously boosted my confidence.
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| The Master Teacher who covers everyone with a bit of His Orange |
In those days Swami used to eat paan. In fact holding His paan box was a huge opportunity we all used to pray and crave for. So Swami took His kerchief and wiped the ends of His lips and smiled. A light reddish orange mark came onto His kerchief. Swami lifted it and said, “See, what happened when I wiped. There is a mark on it now. Why has the mark come? Because I used it. In the same way when you use your mind, it gets dirty. That's all. Otherwise your mind is pure.”
Wow! That was so encouraging! Now I became very confident and started moving forward. Obviously when Swami starts talking to you the others also give way.
Once I went closer to Him, He said, “What do you do to clean your clothes? You give it to a dhobi or washerman, right?” Swami was Himself posing questions and immediately answering them.
He continued, “That's how you clean your clothes which have got soiled because of usage. In the same way give your mind to your dhobi. I am your washerman. Give your mind to Me.” I felt spiritually so recharged at that moment.
When I was recapitulating this experience in one of the Awareness classes much later, Mr. S. V. Giri, the former Vice-Chancellor (of SSSIHL), said, “What Swami has conveyed to you is infact the essence of the Bhagavad Gita.” Then I realised that in the 12th chapter Krishna says,
Mayyeva mana aadhatsva mayi buddhim niveshaaya
Nivaasishyasi mayyeva ata urdhvam na samsayaha
Mayyeva mana aadhatsva means “Let your mind live in Me”, Mayi buddhim niveshaaya that is, “Let your intellect also live in Me”, Nivaasishyasi mayyeva says “Live in Me” and ata urdhvam na samsayaha means “There's no doubt of you reaching liberation.” It was a phenomenal message of Gita and I realised how beautifully Swami had communicated it, that too when I was in such a self-denial mode, when I was not happy with myself. Just like how Arjuna was in ‘vishada’ or ‘despondency’ in Mahabharata.
If I look back I feel the entire Bhagavad Gita was re-enacted in a completely different way. Swami has done this for every individual; not just for me. I am certain with every student Swami did this because all my colleagues went through this phase of not having a stable mind and struggling to control the thoughts. Who was our support at that time? It was Swami who brought us out of the wavering nature of the mind and the kind of problems that a young mind creates. The amount of guidance and confidence Swami used to give us to make us understand that we are essentially divine is extraordinary.
The love of Swami for students is phenomenal. Actually it can come only from Swami because no one else can give it; no one else can understand our state of mind so clearly. Only the divine who sees you as divine can give you that confidence.
Even as I recall this incident it makes me feel so confident that my mind is so pure. Why? Because Bhagawan Himself has told this and I have no doubt. Every time I feel low, I feel “No, I am pure. It could be one or two marks here and there. All I have to do is just think of Swami and give it to Him. That's it.”
Interview Vs Inner View – Are they Different?
I remember another profound experience where Swami gave a beautiful understanding of how to do bhajans. This was during my first year of under graduation. We were studying in the Bangalore University then and our examinations would be sometime in April, May or June. Prior to this we would have study holidays for two-three months.
It was one such summer. As the examination preparation holidays were too long, most of the students were asked to go home during this period. But a few of us, maybe 15, stayed back. After some days Swami returned to Puttaparthi, so we also took the train and landed here. Swami was very happy with the 15 of us because even though it was examination time still we had come to Puttaparthi only for Him.
Swami used to invariably talk to us almost every alternate day, but only after dinner. He was staying in the Prashanti Mandir in those days. Swami's general routine was to have dinner after bhajans and then go up to His room in the first floor. As long as Swami was in the ground floor Mr. Khayal Das and a few other students would be with Him. Once they come out we know that Bhagawan has now retired. It is then that we used to go to the first floor and then wait for Him outside His door.
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| Profound lessons through appetising proximity |
Sometimes He would not come out but would just open the door. Other times He would call us and speak to us in a room there. In fact the first time He called us in, and I remember this very well, as we were entering Swami started saying, “Mudhamate, Mudhamate... Bhaja Govindam, Bhaja Govindam.” During that entire interview He told us about ‘Bhaja Govindam’ that is ‘Chant the name of the Lord’.
In the next interview Swami spoke exclusively on how we should do bhajans. He said, “Every time a name is uttered, understand the meaning. Ruminate on the name and involve yourself fully when you sing.” He gave the example of ‘Gopala’ and said, “When you say ‘Gopala’ what is it that you should think of? Yes, it refers to Krishna but what is the connotation of ‘Gopala’? When a calf is born, the mother cow literally licks off the entire placenta that's on the calf all by herself.”
Swami then said, “When a normal cow can remove so much dirt from its own calf how much more dirt can Gopala remove from you?”
When I think of it, on that occasion when Swami had said, “Give your mind to Me”, this is what He meant. Because He is Gopala! He used to always say “God is the ocean of purity. So the little impurity of yours will not affect God. Give it to Me, give it to Me.”
When we say ‘Gopala’ we have to understand that He is the One who will purify us. In the similar vein He added, “When you say 'Namah Shivaya' all the negativity from inside is just getting thrown out. That is how you should feel.” That day Swami gave these two examples.
The very next day I wanted to sincerely follow this. In those times bhajans were between 11 and 11.30 in the morning. Swami would come out for darshan at 6.30 or 6.45 am. And then call several groups for interview, one after another. We used to be in the Mandir from morning 6 to almost 12 or 12.15 pm, till Swami went up. We would return to Mandir at 2.30 pm and stay on till 6.30 pm. That was our schedule.
When Swami is inside the interview room He could come out any moment. In order to not lose that opportunity we used to wait there all the time. It was the time when many constructions were going on especially the building of college hostel. So Swami used to quite regularly go out in the car to see the work going on. He would leave during bhajans and till He returned the singing continued; so it was not a fixed half hour for bhajans.
That morning, Swami had gone out and bhajans were on. I was enjoying putting into practice what He had told just the night before. During that period I used to do regular dhyanam (meditation). At that time my mind was absolutely focused; that's one advantage we have when we are students as we have less things to worry about. In fact that is an age no one should miss in using it exclusively for the divine.
There was one form of Swami which I used to really love. In those days there were sands in Prasanthi Mandir. There was a big circle in front of the Mandir in the centre of which was a lotus. There was a welcoming statue of Lord Ganesha outside this circle.
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| The Prasanthi Mandir in the eighties when sands, sun, coconut trees and breeze made you lose sense of time and space |
In the summer evenings, when the bhajans go on between 6 and 6.30, the whole ambience - the sunset, the sands, the coconut and neem trees – everything would take on a hue of yellowish orange. It used to be so beautiful! Added to this there would be birds chirping. It was a very charming setting.
Swami used to invariably come outside and stand on the edge of the second portico. There were two levels and He used to stand on the second level. His hair back then was huge and dense. In fact when He is very close to you, you would at times get scared. I used to always think of the song ‘Daya Sagara Karunakara’. In this you compare the Lord to the ocean of compassion, but ocean has another connotation of ‘gambheeratvam’ or ‘awe-invoking magnificence’. Do we also not get scared of the ocean when we see it? It is dense, mysterious and full of awe. Sometimes that is how we used to feel when we were close to Him. Apart from His bushy hair, with the kind of chubby cheeks He had, His face would look so big and overwhelming, at the same time charming. Well, that was a different beauty of the Lord.
So, on some days Swami used to come outside, stand there and cup His hands at the back majestically as the Lord of the Universe, and then sway to the bhajans. I used to really enjoy this form because it was such a sweet and beautiful sight. With the breeze playing with His hair, it was really unimaginable beauty. In fact I used to pray to Swami, “Please come outside and enjoy the bhajans. We want to have that beautiful darshan.”
Whenever I closed my eyes in meditation I used to try and recapture that form. It is said that while doing meditation one has to stick to one particular figure, and this was my select posture.
That morning I was doing bhajans very sincerely. Since there were only 15 of us, and we had the whole Mandir for ourselves we used to sit quite apart from each other so that when Swami comes near us we have the chance of almost an exclusive one-to-one interaction with Him. When there was an opportunity for individual communion with Swami, no one obviously wanted combined attention. So there was enough distance between one another. Swami had gone out during bhajans for overseeing some construction work.
Once the bhajans started I had closed my eyes and I was lost in the singing. I was deeply ruminating on the bhajan, and in my inner eye seeing only that favourite posture of Swami. That vision in fact was so vivid. I could see Swami with absolute clarity swaying to the rhythm of the bhajans and I was simply in another world.
I do not know how long I had been in that state. Meanwhile Swami had returned. His car had stopped and He had alighted. I was completely unaware of any of this.
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| Those exclusive and exceptional sessions of unexpected golden darshans |
Next, Swami came straight to me and now stood right in front of me. Still I had no clue. My eyes were closed and I was in bliss with my inner Swami. Suddenly someone tapped me on the head and I opened my eyes with a start. And what do I see? The same Swami – standing, smiling and swaying beautifully! It was exactly the same posture I was seeing within. I was so taken aback and thrilled. And even before I could grasp this whole experience, Swami tapped me again and said, “Inside Swami and outside Swami - one and the same. Antar bahischa tat sarvam vyaapya Narayana sthithah (The same Narayana is present within and without).”
What a profound experience it was! This happened in 1981. It gave me the confidence that if we are able to picturise the Lord in our mind's eye it's as good as having Swami with us. He is all the time with us but when we become conscious of this depends on how intensely we can concentrate on Him. That's all. Then it's as real as having the physical Swami. We cannot even say that the physical Swami is not there. We can get that experience. That's the love of the Lord and the way He responds.
- Radio Sai Team
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